Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
