Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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