I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
