You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
