I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize