make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
