Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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