I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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