is your mom at the bar?
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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