don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
