Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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