I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
