New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
