Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
two words...techno handjob
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
