Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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