He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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