we have officially lost it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Let's get the cat blown out
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
