This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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