I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
