He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
