Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
