he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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