There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
