We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
