Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Still dying that you shit outside
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
