Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
