and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
