At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
