It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
