Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
