Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
