My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
