and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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