I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
