Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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