At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
