I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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