i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
