I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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