In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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