Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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