I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
