He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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