Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
