i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
