i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
