I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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