I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You left your phone here
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