Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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