i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
